Anticipations can become expectations, and vice versa. Anticipations as a hope ‘for’; expectations as a hope ‘on’.
The possibilities of anticipations have an openness, a willingness, a readiness to ‘be there for’. The possibilities of expectations appear more narrow, and can involve waiting, prescribing, counting. As the opportunity for relating unfolds, we meet our anticipations and expectations more readily, as if face to face.
The anticipations and expectations of our everyday relating can never be static, rather their nature is presented in particular moments. Moments where the blurred edges of being ‘in’ relationship find their expression as anticipations and expectations.
So to with loved ones. Returning to a place where children, grand-children, relatives and former places of employment reside, opportunities present themselves. I am on the deck of an apartment with my early morning cuppa and my old favourite krispie biscuit. After a wet night, there is low cloud, wet roads, and moisture in the air. The day is trying to begin. So too, the opportunities, anticipations and expectations of the day.
In town is my son and 2 grandchildren; my daughter and her hubby having recently landed from Perth; my youngest daughter and her fiancé; Pauline’s daughter, 2 grandchildren, and partner; Pauline’s son; [12 so far]. After our immediate family is Pauline’s mum, her sister and hubby with 3 children, 2 partners, and 1 grandchild; Pauline’s other sister’s son and wife. Yesterday we had Pauline’s brother, wife, 2 children and 1 fiancé. [another 16 -> 28 in total so far]. Two nights ago we spent the afternoon with my brother and his wife from nearby, with another brother and his wife arriving on Boxing Day. [4 more -> 32 as the running total]. Then there is the possibility of catching up with my sister’s 4 children, 3 wives, 1 hubby, and 8 grandchildren [another 16 -> 48 in total, who’s counting?]. Mum and Dad are still in town, as is my sister; 3 lives that have passed on [finishing with a total of 51].
And we are here in Mount Maunganui, New Zealand, for 9 days!
As a husband and father,
– I ‘anticipate’ my son arriving after an early morning surf, damp, shivering, pink fingers; nothing a coffee, eggs on toast, and fried spuds cant attend to,
– I ‘anticipate’ my WA daughter and hubby, along with my youngest daughter and fiance having coffee with lots of laughter,
– I ‘anticipate’ Pauline’s special daughter and 2 grandchildren arriving with hugs and sights set on the spa pool.
I’ll let other opportunities create anticipations, but for now the list seems full.
In amongst the list of 51, not to mention the friends we have from having lived here over many years, this day will have a ‘flavour’ and events that may meet some anticipations, create other expectations, but will be a day of remembrance as I take notice.
For now, I hold my anticipations like I am holding my share of cards in a game of 500; they are my hidden wishes for ‘how’ I would like to experience the day.